


Whatever I want

by HanakaLu, HanakasFictions (HanakaLu)



Series: Whatever I want [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Character Bashing, Drama, Fred is alive, Ginny is not a good person, Harry’s leaving, Independent Harry Potter, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, POV Outsider, Romance, Weasley Bashing, because I love him, cold Harry, maybe ?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-19 15:17:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22712854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HanakaLu/pseuds/HanakaLu, https://archiveofourown.org/users/HanakaLu/pseuds/HanakasFictions
Summary: Harry's tired of everyone telling him what to do with his life. What if he decides to leave? Will he be able to find himself? How will others react? And when they see him again, will he be alone? Will he really change?
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Series: Whatever I want [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1633486
Comments: 25
Kudos: 333





	1. Part 01

The war was over. Really over. Harry had killed the megalomaniac who was after his life, and the lives of... pretty much everyone else. All his friends were all right. It was now more or less two weeks after the Final Battle, everyone - almost everyone... - from the Wizards of Britain was there.Everyone had gathered at the ministry for a special banquet celebrating their new freedom.

However, unlike everyone else, Harry didn’t feel particularly in the mood to celebrate. No one seemed to remember what they had been through, the people who had given their lives on the battlefield. Certainly, the green eyed young man fully understood the need for people to celebrate, have fun, and so on. But that did not mean that they had to completely forget what had just happened. It couldn’t start all over again now. You had to remember what had happened so that it wouldn’t happen again.

Harry shook his head to get out of his thoughts, no matter what mood he was in, it was not the time to remember everything. He too had to try to move on, nobody wanted his life anymore. - At last for the time being, they still had a few moreDeath Eaters to catch... - He would still have wanted to be left alone for that kind of thing.

« Harry, are you done? Hermione and Ginny are getting impatient downstairs, and I don't know how to hold them back much longer! » exclaimed Ron from behind the door.

« Yes, yes, I'm coming. » Harry sighed.

He joined the other three downstairs, they were already at the ministry, unoccupied rooms had been made available for them to change and get ready. God, how he hated formal dress. The wizard's robes were much too heavy, and he only wanted to sleep for the next ten years. You'd think that after the end of the war he would have been left alone, but no! Not even!

« Harry, » began Hermione's lecture, « that kind of dress looks great on you, but the colour... Are you sure it's a good one? »

Harry gritted his teeth, took a deep breath, and tried as best he could to contain his irritation. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the color of that dress.

« ‘Mione, » he said in the calmest possible voice, « I like the colour, I like the effect it gives to the dress, I don't see what's wrong with it. »

« But how can you stand in front of all those people wearing those colors? » Hermione continued.

« That green would only remind them of everything that's happened in the last few years, Harry. » Ron continued.

« I don't think I said I wanted to give that speech, or even want to go to that banquet at all, did I? I wasn't given a choice, so if I want to wear green, I'll wear green. » Harry replied firmly.

Hermione and Ron looked at Harry without knowing what to say, and Harry held their gaze without showing an ounce of the hesitation that had once been in his eyes. Not knowing how to respond to this, Hermione turned her gaze to Ginny, who was waiting patiently for calm to return, the eyes of the former pleading with the latter to do something to change Harry's mind. The redhead noddedbefore approaching Harry, putting one hand on her left forearm.

« Harry, that's a very pretty color, that's true. And it puts your eyes out, » she began softly, « but the colour doesn't match my dress. Why don't you change to another colour. Blue, for example? »

Harry looked at her, shocked, for a few seconds. Not wanting to lose his temper prior to this sort of masquerade, he simply turned and went to where all the guests of the ministry were, without waiting for the other three, who nevertheless followed him, speaking at the same time, trying to make him change his mind before they entered the room. Harry did not listen to them.

All those present in the room fell silent as they entered, looking at them with looks of pure wonder. Ron, Hermione, and Ginny smiled at them, while Harry didn't pay any attention to them as he made his way to the table assigned to them. Nor did he pay attention to the disapproving glances of the Weasley family - the twins being an exception. -nor to those of his two best friends and Ginny's. The table was placed right in front, just before the big stage that had been magically set up. It was the headmost table, where he sat in the center, with Ginny on his right, Ron on his left and Hermione next to the redhead. His jaw tightened when he saw the journalists at the four corners of the room, staring at his every move. He was a Hero, after all.

The Minister made a quickspeech before dinner began, which Harry didn't listen to, all he wanted was for it to be over as soon as possible, so that he could go home to bed. Much of the evening passed quietly, everyone seemed to be having a good time, and Harry was happy for them, really. He almost dared to think that everybody had forgotten that he, too, had to make a speech. Unfortunately, his hopes were soon dashed when the Minister announced his arrival. He sighed, then got up and walked to the stage.

« Good evening, » he began, « we are all here tonight to celebrate the defeat of one of the greatest Dark Wizards, Voldemort. » Shocked noises erupted in the room, and Harry refrained from looking up at the sky, he was dead, damn it, there was no need to be afraid of just a name. « You probably think you have to treat me like a hero, but you don't. » He took a deep breath, « I didn't do it all by myself. True, all of you pinned your hopes on a child as young as a year old, quietly waiting in your homes for that child to do all the work, but I was not alone. And I would ask you not to forget those heroes who died on the battlefield all those years ago. » "Disapproving whispers erupted in the room, but he ignored them, « You have every right to feast on your new freedom, and I completely understand. But I will ask you to always keep in mind those people who fought by my side to win it back. » Harry knew he was going to get blamed again by Hermione and Ron, but he had to say it. « I'd also like to pay tribute to those who fought and are here tonight: The Weasleys, Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, Neville Longbottom, and many others. This is an evening to forget, feast and pay tribute to them, so have fun. »

He did not wait to see the reactions of the crowd before going back to his table, where he refused to answer the questions of those present. He looked into the void, lost in thought, once again.He remained silent for the rest of the meal.

* * *

Once everyone had returned to Grimmaud Square - where Harry lived, and where Hermione and Ron had taken up residence, Ginny had just followed them. - The young man with the emerald eyes knew what he was going to get, even though he wasn't in the mood to hear them complain that he'd been rude...

« Harry, what the hell were you thinking? » Started to lecture Hermione, « you can't say things like that, you know that. »

« And why? Why can't I say what I'm thinking once in my life, Hermione? » Asked Harry.

« Because you're Harry Potter and everyone admires you, if you don't understand that your behavior can be harmful... » The girl continued.

« I've said what I had to say. And I know I may have hurt some people, but it was the truth, 'Mione. I won't go back on it. I'm going to bed. » Finished firmly, Harry.

Four months after the war, Harry was slowly beginning to reach his breaking point. It was full of little things, but he was fed up with them. From a very young age, everything had been dictated to him... Oh, he had no hatred for the people who had manipulated him, turned him into a weapon for Voldemort's defeat. He knew that Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall and others had only good things on their minds, he knew that. However, the war had changed him. And he couldn't stand having everybody tell him what to do. He was able to make his own choices, to live the life he wanted. Apparently he was the only person who believed that. Everyone around him, - and even some he didn't know at all, - were telling him what to do.

He had to become Auror, because it was the most logical career to follow. What if he got tired of chasing bad guys? No one thought of that. Harry had to be a hero all his life, of course. He had to marry Ginny, because that was the next logical step, too, to have lots of kids and a nice house and meals at the Terrier every Sunday because it was written down and there was nothing he could do about it.

The war was over. Everybody was free. Still, Harry was beginning to feel he was freer when everything was still dark in this world. At least at that time, he still had a say, being the one with the power that nobody knew anything about. He could lead the troops. -And again, it wasn't really freedom, but still, it was more than he had at that time. - He had done everything he was told to do. Couldn’t they leave him alone now?

He didn't want to be Auror, marry Ginny and have five kids with her. He sighed, as he got up. It was going to be a long, tiring meal at the Terrier.

Like every Sunday, everyone gathered at the Terrier... There was a time when Harry was more than happy to be there, after all, the family had taken him in, making him another son. He'd be forever grateful to them. However, they were beginning to be too eager to intrude on his private life, and Harry couldn't stand it any longer. Between the sermons of Hermione - who was finally in a relationship with Ron. -, Mrs. Weasley's insistence that he and Ginny should marry, - with the approval of Ron, who was more than ready to become Harry's brother-in-law. -, and Mr Weasley, who agreed with everything everyone said, Harry felt suffocated. - They thought they were being subtle, too. –

Everyone turned a deaf ear when Harry tried to give his opinion on something. Ginny kept trying to get his attention one way or another... It wasn't the life Harry had imagined living after the War was over. - Even though he hadn't really imagined he'd survive it... -

« Harry, have some more mashed potatoes, you're too thin, you need to eat more, you know. » Says Molly Weasley.

« Yeah, you gotta eat right, 'cause training for the Auror starts soon, you know. " continued Hermione, « You have to be in shape. »

« Speaking of which, » Harry began cautiously, putting down his fork, « I've been thinking a lot in the last four months, and I don't think I'm going to become Auror. »

When the bomb dropped, Harry went back to eating quietly, leaving the whole room silent. He didn't want to disappoint them, but he had changed, his desires had changed, what he wanted to do too. If he didn't tell them now, he'd never do it and would never be free to do what he wanted.

« Harry, you can't do this, » Ginny said, « what else are you going to do? »

« I thought about taking some time for myself, resting, living freely after all these years. » Harry replied honestly.

« Harry darling, you're not thinking about it, are you? Everyone's looking forward to you being the youngest of the Aurors. Everything has already been prepared. » Retorted Molly.

« I'm sorry, but I don't want to make this career, it's still my choice, isn't it? » The young man began to get angry.

He knew what was coming. He knew they were going to try to change his mind, like they always do. But if they couldn’t accept his choices, how could he trust them? His life belonged to him and him alone. He looked up, firm and calm, and challenged them to say something, anything.

« So it’s like that? Can’t we change your mind? » Sighed Hermione.

« No. »

« How do you think you’ll be able to live if you don’t have an income? » She tried anyway.

« I’ve everything I need and more to pu up whit for a while, I’ve earned a break. »

« All right. » Says Molly, « and when do you think you’ll move in with Ginny and start preparations? »

Harry didn't answer, frozen, shocked, by the question Molly had just asked him. Honestly, it was to be expected. But it still came as a great shock to him to realize he'd been right. They didn't understand him. They were still in the past, didn't understand that he had changed. He'd grown up, seeing things he shouldn't have seen at that age. Doing things no one should ever have had to do. He wasn't the same Harry they'd known before, and they didn't know the new one.

« Molly, » he began softly, « I'm sorry, but I don't remember saying anything about Ginny and I getting back together. »

« But... It made sense, you don't have to say it to know it. » She said surprised.

« Yes, Harry, everyone knows we're meant to be together. » Smiled Ginny.

Harry slowly got up from the table and looked at them... They all froze in the coldness of his eyes, never having seen him like that before.

« That's the next logical step for you. You wanted to believe I'm going to marry Ginny... Become Auror. And be happy about it, » he said in an icy voice, « I've never said anything like that. I never wanted that. Sure, Ginny and I were together for a short time during the war. But people change. I changed. And I can't see myself making a life with the person I always thought of as my little sister. »

« Harry, you don't know what you're saying, you must be tired. Get some rest. » Says Hermione.

« No, I've had enough of this. You think you can handle my life? You think you can tell me what to do? The war's over, we're not children anymore, sad as it is. I know you all want to forget the horrors of war as soon as possible. But it’s not possible. » Harry continued, ignoring other’s remarks. « All my life I've been told what to do and not to do. All my life I've been 'trained' to be a weapon and do what was expected of me without ever explaining anything. And as much as I love you and consider you my family, you cannot dictate my life as you please. »

« Harry » said Hermione shocked, « the war was hard on all of us and you know it. You're just confused now, but you know you love Ginny and you belong together. »

« She's right, mate, » says Ron, « you and my sister were meant to be married. »

Harry listened to them talk for a while, realizing that he couldn't leave things as they were now. It just wasn't possible. He wouldn't be a puppet all his life. It was so ridiculous.

The room temperature seemed to drop drastically, although it was still summer, as Harry's cold laughter echoed through the room. He was sad, but he couldn't let them do what they wanted anymore.

« I won’t marry Ginny because you want me to. I won’t become an Auror because you want me to. I don’t have to do what other people expect me to do. The war is over, and I intend to do what I want from now on. And that include the fact that I’m quitting the Auror’s school, as well as the fact that I’m not going back to Ginny, get used to it. » He said firmly, « with that, I’m going home. »

He ignored their calls. Hi disappeared from the room, reappeared at home. Closed the fireplace, reinforced the wards around the house. He needed to think.

* * *

Two days later, Hermione and Ron were finally able to return to Square Grimmaud. Everything was quiet when they arrived in the old house. They called Harry several times. Hearing no answer, and having already been through the rooms on the ground floor, they decided to go upstairs, their friend was probably still asleep. They were sure what had happened at dinner was only a misunderstanding. That now that Harry had calmed down, everything would be all right again. They went into the room and....

When they returned to the Terrier everyone was waiting impatiently for them, wanting news of the young man with ebony hair and emerald eyes.

« So? » Ginny asked as she stood up, « Has he calmed down? He’s come to his senses, right? »

Ron looked at Hermione, and she sighed before saying,

« Harry’s missing. He’s gone. His clothes are gone, along with everything else he owned. » She announced, « and before you ask, yes, we thought of kidnapping, but it’s not the case, the fact that his things are gone, that nothing has been destroyed, and that there’s no sign of struggle means only one thing. »

« He left on his own, » Ron concluded.

As everyone sat there, shocked and not knowing what to say, only two persons spoke.

_**« It was time for him to get his act together, » said the twins, smiling.** _


	2. Part 02

Hermione had just finished her day’s work as a Ministry Consultant and was at the Terrier with her Husband, Ron and her sister-in-law, Ginny. They all had family diner at least once a week, however, that night Molly and Arthur were not here.

« So, did you find anything? » Asked Ginny.

« No, I haven’t. » Sighed Hermione, « It’s been five years, and we’ve searched and asked everywhere. No one’s seen him, and no one’s heard from him. »

It had been five years since Harry had decided to disappear into the wilderness without a trace, and without any news of him all these years. The Weasleys and Hermione - although Granger-Weasley now - had done all the research possible and imaginable, and had not stopped for the time being. - Probably would probably never stop, by the way. - Ron had become an Auror and Hermione an Consultant, leaving them free for research at the Ministry.

It's true that at first no one really worried about him leaving, Harry had lived more than seventeen years immersed in a war he had to win - or die in trying. - They figured he needed a vacation, some peace and quiet, and above all a place that hadn't been bathed in blood. Admittedly, they were a little disappointed and angry that the young man had not told them about his plans, but they could - more or less - accept it. However the weeks, then the months and finally the years had passed, and still no sign of him anywhere.

« He still could have sent word at least once, you know. Just to say that he was okay and that he was still alive. » Ron grunted.

« It’s true. He could have. » Sighed Hermione.

Hermione's gaze fell on Ginny, who still hadn't recovered from Harry's departure. She tried not to show it too much, but everyone knew that the girl was still crazy about the green-eyed boy, and that she had been devastated by his absence. She still thought they were meant for each other no matter how long Harry was gone. Because they all knew one thing for sure, and that was that they would see him again. Hermione agreed with her, of course, herself being happy with Ron. Ginny and Hermione would end up married with children, it made sense, no matter how far behind the plans they had got.

Unfortunately for them, Harry didn't seem to want to believe in the same thing they did, and to want to do what was good for him. Hermione sighed, took a sip of his tea, and waited for all the other Weasleys to arrive so that they could talk about the meeting that was to take place soon. Wondering when she would see the man she still considered her best friend.

Every year a ceremony was held to celebrate Voldemort's defeat. This year would be the five-year ceremony, which was important. The Wizard’s world from England was beginning to take shape again, constructions and reconstructions were mostly completed. Wizards and witches had started to really let go of the past and focus on the future.

The Weasley's and Hermione were on the committee that prepared the ceremony. Being war heroes themselves, and Harry not being there to do the speech and all that followed, it was up to them to do it. Especially since several members of the family worked at the Ministry...

They were all gathered in the living room of Ron and Hermione's house with the kids in bed.

« Here’s the tea, » Hermione announced, « it’s best not to beat around the bush. The ceremony is coming soon and I think it would be better to devote ourselves to it for the time being. »

« I couldn’t agree more, » replied Arthur, « in addition to being part of the organisation, we’re all guests as well, and it would be unfortunate to let certain things take over for the time being. This is an important ceremony. »

« Exactly, » adds Ron, « and let’s not forget the meeting we have with Kingsley tomorrow morning. »

Kingsley was the new Minister for Magic. Ron having taken his place as Chief of Aurors not long ago.

It had been five years to the day since Harry left, four months after the war, when the Wizard's World was still ravaged by the damage it had done. His relatives had at least thought to see him at the ceremonies, after all, Harry was the person who had destroyed the Dark Lord, everyone wanted to see him, thank him, shake his hand... He never showed up.

Many people say that Harry had run away from his responsibility, despite the fact that he had done so much for them in the last few years. Others said it was a good thing he had taken a vacation... So opinions were mixed, but everyone wanted him back. One way or another. Hope was always present during these ceremonies, or the one held in his honour, as well as those held for those who perished on the battlefield. Hope that quickly faded away when he didn't show up. However, the search was far from over.

* * *

All were in one of the many meeting rooms at the Ministry the next morning, waiting for Kingsley to decide to speak.

« Good morning everyone. » He began, « I know that all the preparations are going well and that this meeting has surprised many people. Furthermore, I have full confidence in the Auror Chief, Ron Weasley, to take care of all the security issues during the event. » He continued quickly, hoping to ease some of the tension that filled the room, « However, as you know, the British Ministry is trying to reconnect with magical communities around the world. »

He paused until everyone calmed down and stopped making wild assumptions, and began to listen to him so that he could explain himself.

« After many requests, and interviews via the fireplace, the U.S. Department has agreed to send a representative to help us with the preparations and to represent their community during the ceremony, » he continued, « I don't know who will be sent to us any more than you do, but I want you to know that I expect the utmost respect from you, is that clear? » Everyone agreed, « well, now that all this has been said, the representative should have arrived by now. »

Just as he was finishing his sentence, the door began to open and all the heads in the room turned towards it, eagerly waiting to see who would enter. The person who came in left them all speechless, his head was somewhat lowered, and therefore left no way to see him, yet his stature was upright and noble, this person had confidence in him and it was obvious. He must have been in his twenties, certainly the same age as Hermione and Ron.

Hermione, Ron, Ginny and the others had their eyes wide open, staring at the American representative, at the sight of his build he must have been an auror, or at least must have been working in something physical. He was very well developed, wearing the V-neck sweater that seemed to stick to him like a second skin, dark green - or forest green. - which brought out the muscles of his torso which seemed to be well defined, as well as those of his biceps and forearms. Black trousers that were just as tight, which brought out his shapeswithout being vulgar, adorned with a belt with a silver buckle in the shape of a snake, and to finish the whole, boots made of dragonskin just as dark as the rest. He had half-long hair, which had to reach to his shoulders - a bit like Charlie Weasley's - and it was loosely tied up and was jet black, which made the whole thing even more attractive than it already was.

But what most shocked those present was not the newcomer's more than advantageous physique, nor the way he was dressed, which was not formal but nevertheless attractive and not vulgar, but the aura that surrounded him. An extremely powerful aura, full of power that emanated from him, yet everyone saw that all this power was under control, and calm, leaving them all speechless.

The said person went and stood calmly by Kingsley's side, his face still partially hidden, showing only his mouth, and formed what appeared to be a grin. This man was powerful and he knew it.

« Here comes the American representative, » said Kingsley awkwardly.

« Oh, but last time I checked I was just as English as you are. » Retorted the foreigner in a deep, calm voice.

Before anyone could answer, the young man began to raise his head, which revealed a straight nose, and a pair of emerald green eyes surrounded by a pair of black-framed rectangular spectacles which brought out even more of the green in his eyes, which now seemed bright, but showed no sign of emotion. A unique green, which they had only seen on one and the same person.

All the eyes widened even more, if that was even possible, recognising exactly who was in front of them.

« Harry, » Hermione whispered, « Harry, it is you! »

« Where the hell have you been? We've been looking everywhere for you! Why didn't you tell us you were leaving?! » Ron exclaimed.

Harry looked at them, his face blank, no emotions betraying his thoughts, which left them perplexed. Harry was known to have his thoughts marked on his face, in his eyes. Not the other way around. The green-eyed young man raised an eyebrow, which was twice as disturbing, before turning to the Minister.

« If I'm not mistaken, shouldn't we be talking about preparations for the ceremony for the five years since the end of the war, Minister? » He asked, ignoring all the others.

« Um... Yes, yes, of course! »

All were puzzled by Harry's calm indifference, they said nothing, however. The meeting went off without major problems. Harry was professional. It took another hour or so before Kingsley decided to leave them alone, the tension in the room having become close to unbearable.

« Harry! » exclaimed Fred after the door was closed, « It's good to see you again, mate. »

« Totally, you look fine, » George continued, « even extremely fine, judging by what is in front of me. »

« It's good to see you too, Fred and George. Never been better. » Harry replied with a sincere smile. The first one since he arrived.

The other Weasley's and Hermione, having finally come out of their stupor, approached the other three.

« Harry, » began Hermione, « Where have you been for the last five years? Do you realize how worried we've been? »

Harry's face closed, resuming his initial indifference. He was going to answer, but before a sound could come out of his mouth, his arms were filled with a Ginny Weasley who decided that huddling in his arms was the best idea she'd ever had. He reached out but did nothing to make her leave. Nor did he hug her back.

« Harry, you're here to stay, aren't you? » Asked Molly, being sure Harry was back for good, « Oh, of course you're staying in England! I'm sure you've only just come back, come to the Terrier, we'll be happy to welcome you there until you can find yourself a home! »

She didn't say it, but everyone understood the implication: "That you find a house where you can live with Ginny. " Harry sighed and stuck his hands in her pockets, silently pulling Ginny out of his arms.

« Right now I already have a place to stay for the duration of my stay here, Mrs. Weasley. » He replied in an unemotional voice, missing the warmth that was once there when he spoke to Molly.

« But, Harry, you can't even think you can be alone! »Retorted Molly, outraged, « I'm sure you won't eat well, and besides, why stay alone when you have a family to stay with. » She seemed to have decided she didn't understand why Harry wasn't in London to stay.

« Exactly. Besides, don't you think you owe us an explanation for the way you acted? » Said Hermione.

Harry didn't answer for a while, looking into the void, and everyone thought he was going to give in, and go back with them. Where they could talk quietly, and reconnect, and get things going again. Just as it was meant to be and as it was written.

« I owe you absolutely nothing, » Harry said curtly, « I have a place where I can stay until the ceremony, and I intend to stay there whether you like it or not. » He continued, sighing.

There was a shocked silence in the room. Harry didn't seem bothered by it in the least.

« Can we at least go with you? I'm sure Mom would love to make you some food, and I could help her. You'll feel less lonely! » Ginny asked, full of hope. Harry, her Harry was back, and there was no way she was going to let him get away a second time.

« I don't think I said I was alone. » Harry replied, tense.

He sighed again, something he hadn't done in a long time.

« Still, I'm glad to see you're all right. You've finally become Auror. You saw that was the career for you, didn't you? » Said Hermione, hoping to ease the tension that seemed to be returning.

« I am by no means Auror, Hermione. » Harry replied, to everyone's shock.

He took a few steps back and folded his arms. The light in the room seemed to focus on a piece of metal on Harry's finger.

« Harry, is that what I think it is, on your finger? » Asked Hermione.

« It's a ring, Hermione, you can say it, » replied the jet-black-haired young man.

« Which means you're... Married? » Almost choked Ron.

« Indeed, that's what it means. »

« That's impossible, » cried Ginny, « you're supposed to marry me, Harry. I know you took some time to rest, but now that you're back, everything can go back to normal. Our wedding can happen any time now. »

« I don't owe you anything. I'm under no obligation to marry you, Ginny, you should know that. A marriage can only take place when both parties want it, and I don't remember ever saying I did, » replied Harry in a cold voice, « I'm married and happy to be. » He looked at his ring and smiled, with a real smile, as if he was thinking of the person who had the twin ring to his own, « I'm not here to answer your questions. I'm tired, it's been a long journey, even by Portkey, I'd like to go home and go to bed. I'll see you later in the week for further preparations. Good night. »

That said, Harry left, leaving the others at a loss for words. Their Harry had changed. Grown and matured. He'd moved on, and it seemed he'd started a life he was happy with. Which wasn't supposed to be possible without them. It wasn't. He couldn't be happy if they weren't with him, it must have been a joke.

« You know, » says Fred, « the fact that Harry is determined to go on living, and to move on, is a good thing. »

« The fact that you don't accept it means that you've stayed partly in the past. And while that may sound reassuring, it's not necessarily a good thing. » Ends George.

* * *

Weeks went by without anyone being able to talk to Harry. He'd come in to do what he had to do, and then leave without giving anyone time to say anything. Of course, everyone knew he was back as an American representative, but that was it. And the whole Weasley family was frustrated. Why didn't Harry talk to them? Why didn't he give them an explanation? What had changed so much?

The ceremony was supposed to take place that night. And Harry wasn't there. Kingsley had managed to get Harry to give his first real speech in years, but he wasn't at the dinner. He wasn't anywhere. By the time he got to the podium, everybody was in a panic... Panic quickly subsided when the big doors opened to let him in. He was gorgeous, wearing a midnight blue dress with silver trim. He had become a man, and was no longer the little teenager who had had to fight a war and was scared and lost. He went up to the podium and the room quickly became quiet. At last... At last their Savior was about to speak.

« Good evening to all, » he began in the same deep and calm voice, full of confidence, « first of all I want to apologise for being late, I was held up somewhere. » He continued easily. When did Harry become so good at public speaking? « We're here tonight to celebrate five years since the end of the war. It's a joyous occasion and everyone should have a good time. However, in the last few weeks I've discovered several things that have shocked me somewhat. »

Everyone looked at each other, wondering what had shocked the savior of the sorcerer's world. Hermione was sad, wondering how long her best friend hadn't needed his advice, or hadn't spoken to her with an open heart when they were in the same town.

« Please understand that I am happy to be able to be with you and celebrate what has been one of the most best moments of my life. However, as I have said in the past, I was not alone. Ceremonies in my honour should not take place, at least not as much. I never asked to be the one who would save the wizard's world, however it was my duty to destroy Voldemort, » everyone trembled at the thought of that name. He sighed, « it's only a name, don't be afraid of it,all my childhood made me believe that magic didn't exist, and when I learned that I was a wizard, I was told that a raving lunatic was after my life. I'm not happy with what I've been asked to do. I'm not happy that everyone thinks they have the right to tell me what to do and what to become. The war is over, » he says, « and I have all the rights to do what I want to do. Thank you for coming tonight, and don't let my speech stop you from having fun. After all, that's what we're here for. » He ended with an amused smile.

The room remained silent for a long time, before everything resumed its course. Harry stayed until the end, but spoke no more than he should. When the festivities were over, Harry left, though this time the Weasley family wouldn't let him get away with it, so they began to follow him as quietly as possible. They wanted answers, and they would get them. Harry went to a little part of London, the houses were huge and very well protected. They were always in the magical part of London. The lights were all still on, it wasn't very late. Harry went into one of the houses, the farthest one, where the lights were also still on. The Weasleys wasted no time, and knocked on the door. It was Harry who opened the door.

« I knew this would happen, » he sighed, « come in. »

So they went into the house, which was not warm or even inhabited, but they remembered that Harry had made it clear that he would not stay here. Not for the time being, anyway.

They all sat in the living room with a cup of tea in their hands, and Harry waited for one of them to speak. Hermione decided to start, when a noise caught their attention.

« Gab' is in bed, he wanted you to read him a story but... » The voice interrupted entering the living room, « I missed something, it seems. »

« What... Malfoy? » Ron cried out, « What the hell are you doing here? »

« It would be more my place to ask you, Weasley. »

Indeed, at the entrance of the room was Draco Malfoy in all his glory. He, too, had matured physically. Even though he still carried the aristocracy he had always had.

« Care to explain? » he asked Harry, ignoring all the others.

« They followed me. I told you this would happen before we left for home. » Harry replied with a smile.

« Harry? » Asked Hermione.

« You already know Draco, he’s my husband. »

« You can’t be serious? » Says Ron, slightly green.

« I'm dead serious, Ron, » replied Harry.

As protests erupted from all sides, the room cooled a few degrees, Harry stood up, The face cold, Draco standing beside him, an arm around his waist, and his face just as cold, looking at their... Guests, before saying, in a sharp voice...

« If you don't lower your voicesand wake up our son, I'll kick you out of my house, understand? » He said.

_**Harry had changed. Harry was a powerful wizard, and nothing would stop him from living his life in peace and protecting his family. And the Weasleys were beginning to understand that.** _


	3. Part 03

The silence was heavy in the room, the tension thick. The Weasleys were shocked. Hermione, Ron, Ginny and Mrs. Weasley couldn't believe that Harry spoke to them in that tone. It had never happened before, they couldn't understand. What he was doing with Draco Malfoy? Why was he angry with them? What happened all the time he wasn't in England? Why didn't he seem happy to see them again? It wasn't supposed to be like that, he was supposed to go away to get his mind off it, and come back happier, but not change. What happened to Harry not being able to control his magic? Who was scared, lost without their help? The frail, naive Harry they knew couldn't have disappeared. It just wasn't possible.

The other Weasley's present were equally shocked, Mr. Weasley could not decide whether he was happy that Harry had finally taken his life into his own hands, or whether he should take the side of his wife, daughter and youngest son. Fred and George, on the other hand, were just about to get out the popcorn and watch the festivities begin, after all, they'd always been on Harry's side, there was no reason to change sides now. They saw it as perfectly normal for the young man to finally want to live the way he wanted to live. For taking the time to leave to find himself, for the first time Harry was doing the things he wanted to do without anyone convincing him that this was what he had to and wanted to do. It was a big change, and could - would - affect any relationship he had with the rest of their family, but nobody could blame him, and if their parents, brothers and sisters, and Hermione ended up not seeing him again, even a little, it would be all their fault, but they didn't mean to let so little ruin everything. It didn't matter what the others said.

Harry, on the other hand, looked at them impassively, waiting for them to decide whether he wanted to continue this conversation, which he knew wasn't going to end the way they wanted it to, or whether they were going to leave. The two suited him, he had prepared himself for this confrontation, knew how it could end, he was ready. He wasn't the same anymore. Draco, always at his side, had cast a spell of silence over the room, because no matter what, he knew the voices weren't going to stay at a respectable volume. He sighed and went to sit in the chair closest to the fireplace, which was lit. If it were up to him, this conversation wouldn't matter, but he knew it was important to Harry, so it was important to him too.

Harry moved closer to sit on his lap, an arm around his neck, Draco put his arm around his waist, and put his hand on his belly. The green-eyed young man sighed and relaxed a little in the embrace. - His eyes remained cold, resting on the people in front of him. - He smiled a little as he saw the look on the twins' faces, he didn't expect anything less from them, the only ones he trusted so that all this conversation wouldn't change anything in their relationship.

« Whenever you want, » he said suddenly, « I'm tired and I'd like to go to bed, we're leaving soon, and although we haven't - that I haven't - brought much stuff, I'd like to rest. »

Draco pinched his waist, and Harry gave him a look, a small smile full of affection on his lips, before turning to the other people in front of them. Hermione was the first to regain the use of speech.

« Harry, when did everything change? » she asked.

« Why should it all change? » He retorted, his voice impassive.

« You're not the same as you were before. » Ron murmured.

« You wanted me to stay the same? The war's over, I don't have to worry about what people think anymore. I would have thought you, of all people, would understand that. »

« But... You've been gone for five years, Harry, without a word from you. You didn’t tell us where you were going, if you were all right. Not even why you left. » Said Hermione.

« Because I didn't know where I was going, that I needed to leave without having someone on my back all the time telling me what to do, what to wear, what to eat. How to live my stupid life without giving me the choice of saying anything for five years, Harry, without any news of you. Didn't tell us where you were going, if you were all right. Not even why you left. » Said Hermione.

« Because I didn't know where I was going, that I needed to leave without having someone on my back all the time telling me what to do, what to wear, what to eat. How to live my stupid life without giving me the choice. »Harry replied, his voice a little higher.

Hermione, Ron and the others looked at him with wide eyes. Harry couldn't understand that they had done all this for his own good. Because he wasn't capable of making any decisions.

« Harry, we didn't do this to take control of your life. We did it for your own good, only that, » began Mrs. Weasley, « you weren't able to make decisions for yourself, we made the right choices for you. »

« They were definitely good choices, the best choices, and the proof is that Harry was all for it and stayed with you all the way. » Said Draco sarcastically...

The Weasleys and Hermione watched Harry, waiting for him to come to their defense. But Harry was as impassive as ever, not reacting for a second to Draco's remark.

« Harry, are you gonna let this... That filthy vermin talk to us like that? » Ron asked, clearly shocked.

« Why shouldn't I? I mean, I certainly wouldn't have phrased it the way Draco did, given that the words don't come to him subtly. It's a thing of the past, but either way he's right. » Harry replied, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.

« I don't understand, » said Hermione, « why did you leave us and come back like that? »

« Hermione, » sighed Harry, « one day you will have to understand that not everything is understandable, life is not understandable, books don't hold all the knowledge. You don't have to understand anything for this one to be real, you know? »

« But... But you were supposed to marry Ginny, have kids, and we were all gonna live next door to each other. You were supposed to be Auror. Not be with... with him. Living we-don't-know-where. For the love of Merlin, Harry, why can't you understand that? »

Harry massaged his temples, the conversation went around in circles and led nowhere. They didn't want to understand, yet everything was simple, or so he thought.

« Because we're not kids anymore, Hermione, I haven't had a crush on Ginny for years, long before I saw Draco for the first time shortly after I left, » Harry says dryly, « and Ginny can't get over the fact that her hero isn't her hero or what she thought I was. »

« Why are you saying that like there's nothing going on between us? » Ginny whispered.

« Because there isn't, Ginny. There was nothing between us, we were scared, we were at war, I didn't know what to do, and they didn't tell me anything. You were convinced I was someone you knew when I wasn't. Nothing had time to begin, nothing will ever begin. It's time to move on and find someone you love for who he is and not for what you think he is. Just like I did. » Says Harry a little more nicely.

« And for you, moving on, including... Him? » Spit it out, Ron.

Harry raised an eyebrow, something he had apparently taken from Draco, and looked Ron straight in the eye, the emotionless emerald green having darkened dangerously at Ron's words. He didn't answer, the tension had risen a notch - yes, it was possible. - Draco knew that look, he had seen it so many times over the last few years, he shook his head lightly, a small smile on his lips, and with a fluid movement of his wand levitated a cup of tea towards him.

« It's going to be a while, » he says amused, to everyone's shock. Once again.

***

_It's been a month. A whole month since he'd been gone, since they left them with nothing but a bag on their backs and the bare necessities. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing, simple as that. But he was suffocating, couldn't take it anymore. He had to leave. And that's what he did, with no destination in mind, he took his things and left. At first he felt guilty for not having even left them a note to tell them he was leaving, for he didn't know how long. He didn't know why. But it was his choice, he remembered to himself, he needed to be alone, to get to know himself without anyone trying to interfere._

_He had held so much anger, hatred and resentment these last few years, and not just against Voldemort, but against everyone around him, and those who knew him only from the newspaper, who thought they had a right to his life and to him just because some stupid prophecy had decided that he should either die trying to kill a lunatic, or defeat him and become a hero he didn't want to be. His magic was barely held back, his anger could be unleashed at any moment._

_He had lost so much in that war. So much more than he'd won. He was never asked his opinion, if he even agreed to win this war. We didn't tell him, hell, we didn't even train him. He was tired of it and had to leave before he started another war. So that's what he did. And today he was in some kind of desert. Maybe North Africa, he thought. Maybe. The Sahara Desert, maybe. He was alone. It was hot. And he didn't know where he was going. But he was at his best, and happier than he'd ever been. Because even though he was lost in a part of the world he didn't know, with no civilisation or anything, he'd decided it himself and that alone was great._

_He had been walking for hours without having stopped, and he thought he was beginning to hallucinate, because if not, how could he see someone so pale, with hair so blond and eyes so grey, staring at him, in the middle of the desert. He started laughing hysterically._

_« Could we know what you're laughing at, Potter? » Asked the hallucination curtly._

_« I didn't know a hallucination could talk. » Said Harry after he'd - finally - stopped laughing._

_« They don't talk, but I'm not one of them. » Retorqua Draco-Hallucination._

_« What would you be doing in a desert if you weren't a hallucination? » Harry asked himself._

_Draco looked at Harry like he was crazy, then took some water, and threw it in his face._

_« Okay, okay, I get it, not a hallucination, got it loud and clear. » He said, choking, a little._

_He looked at the blonde for a while, then looked at the blonde's "camp" and decided it would be a great idea to stay here, so he sat down, normally, and looked at Draco, waiting for Draco to do the same. Which he did, still not understanding what was going on._

_« So, you're in the desert. Why are you in the desert? » Asked Harry naturally._

_« Because I like landscapes, » replied Draco sarcastically, « because I'm looking for rare potion ingredients, and nobody wants me in the UK. »_

_« Why wouldn't anyone want you? » Harry seemed genuinely shocked, which bothered Draco enormously... More than the "civilized" conversation they shared..._

_« Maybe because I'm not in Azkaban, when everyone thinks this should be my new home, that I'm just a Death Eater and/or son of Lucius Malfoy. Honestly, for lots of reasons Potter. »_

_« Yeah, people are idiots. » Mumbled Harry._

_Draco looked first, a hint of interrogation in his gray eyes. But though he was dying to know the answers to his questions, he didn't ask them. He had pride, and he was tired of being alone. So for the first time in his life, he kept his mouth shut. But still, what was Potter doing here all alone?_

_« What are you doing here all alone, Potter? » Yep, a filter, that's right._

_Harry stared into the void for a long time, and Draco thought he wasn't going to answer. It was frustrating, but he shrugged his shoulders. He wasn't going to force him to say things he didn't want to say. He knew what it was like to have to keep things hidden. And it wasn't easy getting them out, or even talking to someone you thought was your enemy for years._

_« I was tired of suffocating. » Harry finally replied so softly that Draco almost didn't hear him, « I'm tired of being told what to do, how to live my life.Tired of not letting me get over the loss of people I loved. Tired of things being kept from me. I'm tired of being acclaimed for killing, for spilling blood. I'm tired of people thinking I owed something to everyone else when I didn't. Tired of not having the chance to find myself because people, even those close to me, had already made me a personality and I "couldn't afford to make them think it was all fake", that would have made me a liar. » He continued, « Honestly, I was barely told that I was a Wizard when the very same day I was told that I'm famous, that I'm rich, and that everyone expects me to destroy a guy who's got it in his head that killing anything he doesn't like is perfectly normal. I had to leave. Without them. »_

_Draco looked at Harry with his eyes wide open. He'd always more or less thought Harry was all that was said of him, but not all of him. He knew there was more behind every article, every rumor, every smile they showed. He'd seen him fight, seen him fight Voldemort himself, seen him with his own father. But he never thought it affected the other so much._

_On two different sides of the same war, they had so much in common, so much pain in them, so much anger, so much resentment that neither of them had the right to show. They had things to do, whether they wanted to or not. They had had personalities drawn for them, whether true or false. They had lived through so much. And they didn't even realize it until now. In a Desert. When it was all over._

_Both of them were silent, each in their own thoughts._

_« You know, » Harry finally said, « I never really hated you, honestly I have so many people to hate that you're not even in the top ten. But even though I really thought of you as an arrogant, shallow, mean-spirited kid for no reason, I quickly realized that, like a lot of people, you had to do this. I saw, Draco, with my own eyes what the war could do to you. And you were by far one of the bravest people I've ever come across. Totally despicable, but brave nonetheless. »_

_That day, they talked for hours. With no one around to tell them how to behave, how to talk, or what to do. They spoke freely. They travelled through the Desert together. A friendship was born that day. However, Draco wanted to go to Australia afterwards, Harry wanted to go to China, to learn all kinds of relaxation techniques, to learn to finally master his magic._

_But deep down, they knew they’d see each other again. And soon._

***

And yes, they had. Harry blinked quickly, returning to the present... With a dreamy smile on his lips, he turned his eyes to Draco, who was drinking his second cup of tea. The blond man looked up at his husband, and looked at him with tender eyes, without the mask that so many people had seen him wear for years. Draco was as beautiful as ever, even with the years. His hair too was longer - though still less than Lucius'. - and his eyes, more expressive, were still a deep gray.

« You know I thought you were a hallucination for most of our first conversation? » Says Harry.

« I have no trouble believing it, strangely enough. » Replied Draco.

The Weasley family and Hermione watched the exchange and didn't understand a word of it. Harry had been lost in thought for half an hour, and only Draco seemed to find it normal. Nothing to worry about in there. No. Nope. Absolutely not.

« Harry, please, » pleaded Hermione, « come back with us. We don't know what's happened over the last few years, but you're clearly not yourself anymore. Come with us for a while. You'll see that everything you're going through right now is not what you want, okay? » "Ron nodded his head, and by his side, Ginny did the same.

« Hermione, for the last time, I don't... »

« Daddy? » Cut him off a little sleepy voice.

All turned their heads towards the newcomer. A little boy, who couldn't have been more than two/three years old, stood on the threshold of the door, rubbing his eyes with these little hands, wearing sky-blue pyjamas with brooms as a pattern.

The Waesleys were shocked, and once again, completely lost. Draco growled slightly, of course it wasn't going to be easy, their son could never fall asleep if it wasn't in HIS bed, in THEIR house. Harry insisted that he had inherited this from him, Draco would deny it until his death. Harry just watched the scene between his husband and son, amused, his heart full of warmth.

_**There was so much unsaid. Questions in the air. The approaching storm would be decisive. But little Gabriel didn't know that. All he wanted was a glass of milk.** _


	4. Chapter 04

Everyone in the room watched as Harry rose from Draco's lap to walk towards the little boy who had just appeared. He crouched down in front of him, and opened his arms, the little boy ran up against Harry's chest, and looked around the room with a haughty look in his eyes, which strangely reminded them of a certain person they wished they had never known.

« Harry... » began Hermione, « did he say " "Daddy"? »

Harry didn't answer, instead, his gaze went straight into the curly-haired brunette's eyes. He looked into her eyes, and once again Hermione was almost shocked to tears when she saw no warmth that he was so accustomed to directing at her. Just emerald ice, with nothing but cold indifference inside. She averted her gaze, to put it on the little one in the arms of the brunette. He couldn't have been more than two/three years old, had the hair of a pure blond that had nothing to envy to Draco's, and eyes of the same emerald green of Harry. Thin, aristocratic features, but with Harry's mouth. He was a perfect blend of the two men standing before her. And she understood absolutely nothing.

Draco got up from the chair where he was sitting and walked towards the two most important people in his life, he put his hand on Harry's hips, and they both acted as if there wasn't an army of Weasleys sitting next to them.

« Why aren't you sleeping, Gabriel? » Asked Draco.

« 'Wanted milk. » Answered the little blond boy in a voice that was still asleep.

Harry stopped himself from laughing.

« He's just like you, Dray. » He said lightly, « Little guy, we'll be home in two days, all right? Two sleeps and you'll be back in your bed and your room. »

« If you can handle it, » added Draco, « you'll be a big good boy and tomorrow we'll go for ice cream. »

« Ice c’eam? » Little Gabriel's face lit up when he realized what he might have. « Sleep? »

« Yes, baby, go to sleep. Papa Dray will even read you a story. »

Draco looked at Harry, outraged. He didn't read history, he was the strict dad. Thank you very much. Harry looked at him, eyebrows raised...

« You'd rather I do it, and in the meantime, you're making small talk with our guests? » He asked sarcastically.

That's when Gabriel seemed to realize he wasn't alone with his dads.

« Daddy, who's that? » He asked, pointing his finger at the Weasleys.

« No one important, go to sleep. » Draco replied, taking Gabriel from Harry's arms and disappearing into another room.

Silence returned like an old friend to the room, while Harry slowly turned to those still present. Yet he didn't look at them. He sat down and stared at the fire beside him, clearly in his thoughts. He was tense, tired, angry and weary. He didn’t want to think about everything that had happened, but he was not given a choice. He wanted to go home and go back to his little life. But deep down he knew he was running away from what was inevitable now. He had to face it all. Everything could change. He could reconnect with them, or he could completely cut them out of his life, as he so desperately wanted to do. But it wasn't so easy to erase so many years from his life like that, and Draco was right. He had to make a choice, but not one he had to make in a hurry, and talking was the only option he had left. That being said, it didn't look good for the big, warm reunion.

« Let’s set the record straight, » his voice surprised everyone, « if you still want to talk about me leaving the only two people that matter to me, so that I can experience what you want for me, then I don’t need to show you the way out. However, if you want to talk in a calm and civilised way, I am ready to listen to you. »

They all had so much to say, so many questions. But Harry had made it clear that he wouldn’t accept reason. Even Hermione didn’t know how to deal with him anymore, he wasn’t the same Harry as before, he wouldn’t listen blindly to his friends. He didn’t trust them anymore, and nobody knew why. The twins, on the other hand, looked at their family, with more shock when they saw that nobody wanted to open their eyes to what was in front of them, and still wanted to live in denial. It saddened them greatly, they had not changed and didn’t want to grow up.

« You know, » Fred began, « the biggest difference between you and Harry today is that he's grown and matured, he's understood a lot and he's allowed himself time to be overwhelmed and feel lost. »

« He has thought about it, » George continued, « has found himself and now knows who he is and what he wants. Unlike you, who stayed five years back. You don't want to grow up and move on and leave the war behind you for good, which is now well and truly over. »

« You're still in the fantasy of the perfect life you dreamed of during the war, » says Fred, « everything you planned to do once you were free of threats. You want it to come true without even thinking about what it might entail. Without asking anyone's opinion. »

Harry looked at them, a little smile on his face. They hadn’t changed, and it was a good thing. The twins had always been a little different from the rest of the family. Understood faster, and didn’t let chat they wanted bother people where the rest of the Weasley were all for the other listen to what they had to say, and where Hermione was the one who knew best. It was rather sad to say, but Harry always trusted them more than Ron and Hermione.

The Weasley family, on the other hand, looked at the twins in total shock, as if they couldn't believe their ears, what they had said was totally untrue. They had moved on, they had grown up. That's why they were moving forward as a family. The family that Harry was supposed to really belong to. It made sense, and the continuity of things... The brunette sighed and rubbed his temples... Draco came back into the room, looking traumatized, and Harry made the mental note to ask him what story Gab' had asked for this time.

« Molly, » Harry finally said, « you were for a long time the mother I unfortunately never had. You took care of me, and accepted me into your home without a moment's hesitation, and I can never be grateful enough. You did so much for me at that time, and I don't forget that. »

« Harr— »

« However, » Harry cut her off as he raised his hand, « you also thought you could lead me as you do with your sons. To be able to tell me what to do and with whom, when and how. Marry Ginny, pursue whatever career you thought was best for me. The problem, Molly is that I'm not the puny little boy I was when I was eleven. Now that I've done what was asked of me, I'm old enough and entitled to choose my own path, and you don't understand that. As much as I respect you for a lot of things, you are not my mother and you have no right to tell me what to do now that I am an adult. »

He paused for a moment to take the tea that Draco handed him and let him sit on his lap, the blond man's hand resting on the base of his neck and playing with his hair, as he knew that it would relax the brunette a little. Molly, on the other hand, had become more or less red, her lips tightened, as if to refrain from saying something. Harry knew he was tough, however it was necessary for them all to understand.

« Ron, » continued Harry, his voice still unemotional, « you were the very first friend I ever made, and even though on the one hand, the first time you were impressed by the scar, I know it bothered you more than anything else over time. You stood by me at the worst possible moment, I trusted you completely. But don't think I didn't notice that over time you became bitter quickly. Jealous of the intention I never asked for but received anyway. »

\- "I didn't j--" Ron started yelling.

« Your temperament is no secret, Ron. » Said Harry, « and honestly, from a certain angle, I can understand you. I really can. However, you haven't always been truly understanding. Careful, I'm not saying you were a bad friend, far from it, and the fact that you were my first one holds a special place in my heart. But you see that what you want to see, and not the real facts, and that in times of war can be an advantage, but now that everyone is at peace, it's not. It can get in the way of a lot of things. You got what you wanted with Hermione, and I'm very happy about that, believe me. But not everyone's like you, thinking what we thought when we were fifteen. It's time you realised that. »

Harry's voice was assertive, and the more he spoke, the firmer his words were. He wouldn't allow anybody to speak at the moment, and everybody understood that. But the first one knew that when he was done, it would explode... Draco tightened his arm around him, and the brunette's head bent down as he touched him.

Ron was upset. It was almost as clear as if smoke was coming out of his ears, and Draco almost laughed, Harry could tell by the way his lips tightened, his eyes turned to futile, his nose wrinkled in a lovely way. The dark-haired man's gaze softened a little as he saw his husband react in such a childish way, as if being together brought him back to Hogwarts. It was cute.

« Hermione, » sighed Harry, « You're a brilliant witch, and you have to be blind not to see it, even Draco accepts this point, » Harry grinned at his husband's scandalised expression, « but you still don't understand that theory is not practice, and what you read doesn't always apply to real facts, and to any situation. Life is not a book, the knowledge you have can help you move forward and make decisions in real time, but will never be the exact answer you expected. »

He watched her open her mouth, but she quickly closed it again when she saw Harry's almost black eyes.

« In the book of life you wrote for yourself when we were at Hogwarts, discovering new things, learning to juggle a world full of magic, lessons we could barely take and a sick man after my life, you saw yourself as an adult, working for something prestigious, married to Ron and I to Ginny, living close to each other and being as close a family as the Weasleys ever were. And it's true that in wartime, it was a way of holding you back from reality. To hold it together and try to move forward in the face of the horrors that we've shown. You're extremely smart and a powerful witch. But dreams made during a dark time and with little hope of survival don't apply when we can make the choice we want, and have the rest of our lives ahead of us Hermione. The principle of books is that they can be rewritten, arranged and improved over time. It's about time you started facing the same way. »

He was standing tall when he stood up to face them again. He looked at them, filled with confidence, trust and pride in the man he had become. Draco looked at him with love, with tenderness... Ron looked at him as if he didn't know whether to be angry with him or accept the fact that their friends had now gone mad. Molly was sad, angry, and against the fact that Harry didn't listen to her as he used to, and Hermione looked as if she had swallowed her entire library in less than five minutes. He turned to Ginny, who always had a resolute look on her face, and spoke before him, because she hadn't got the memo to keep quiet for the time being.

« I don't know what's gone through your head Harry, » she said confidently, « but clearly you've got to come to your senses, and stop seeing this sort of ..., useless bastard who should have died in the war like so many others. »

The room was dead silent. Everyone was holding their breath. Draco had his eyes wide open, and Harry could see that those words had hurt him more than he would ever admit. Harry's eyes darkened dangerously, the room suddenly charged with magical electricity. He turned his head slowly toward Ginny, who thought she'd said the right thing. The one that would make Harry open his eyes and understand his mistake. Even Ron realized it wasn't the right thing to say.

The brunette gently raised his hand, making Ginny come to him by some kind of invisible thread, which made her squeak, without saying a word. He put his face within an inch of her face, and spoke in a threatening and frankly frightening voice that no one had ever heard from him.

« Don't forget you're in my house, Ginny, » he began, « I will not allow anyone to talk like that about my husband under my roof, let alone in my presence or in the presence of our son a few rooms away from where we are, before you start saying what I have to say to you, I want you to understand that if such words ever come out of your mouth again, it will end extremely badly for you, I will not tolerate anything less than respect, understand? » He whispered the last words.

Ginny nodded without saying a word, too scared to say anything. He let her sit down and waited for a moment to calm down, in Draco's arms, his head in his neck while the Blonde whispered softly in his ear, while Harry made sure he knew what had just been said wasn't true. He took a deep breath, then lifted his head without leaving Draco's embrace, and began to speak.

« Ginny, I know deep down you're not a bad person. You're a good witch, and I'm sure you'll make a good wife, independent, with a great career and be able to marry someone who understands who you are and what you're worth, » he began again, « however, it won't be me, and I'm not going to say it's my fault because I know it's not. You fell in love with the picture that was painted of me. You don't really know me, never had time to get to know me. You're the sister of the person I've long considered my best friend. I've never seen you as anything more than that. I'm not saying I didn't give you hope back when we were all afraid. But I never said we'd end up together, and it's time for you to open your eyes and move on, turn the page and face your own life. Forget a dream that won't come true. At least not with me. »

His voice was firm again and did not give room for arguments.

« For a long time, even before I left five years ago, I forced myself to thinking that I wanted the same thing you wanted for me. Telling myself that you were right, and that this was what was best for me. That I wanted to get married as soon as possible and have children and a home, the illusion of a normal life that I never had. I wondered if that's what my parents and Sirius would have wanted for me. I wondered what they would think of me if I decided to leave and not do all this. I was lost and I didn't know what to do, but you know what I realized the last week before I left without telling you? »

He looked at each of the people in front of him, waiting for an answer, for someone to speak up. When no one moved, he sighed and spoke again.

« I realised that I couldn't even go to those whom I now consider my family for advice. Those I had to trust. I couldn't go and confide in you, Ron, because you would have gotten out of hand, telling me that my life was with you in the Auror and married to your sister. I couldn't go to you, Hermione, because you would have lectured me about facts written in books and in your head about the future that was in store for me. At the Weasley house. I couldn't go and talk to you, Molly, because you had a pre-defined concept of me being married to your only daughter, and being your son legally and by marriage. I couldn't go to Arthur, who always follows Molly, because that's what a good husband is supposed to do. I couldn't have a real conversation with Ginny, because she was too deep in her own dream to see that it could destroy the people around her. »

He paused to catch his breath.

« Then I left, because I didn't want you in my life anymore. The very first decision I ever made was to cut you out of my life forever. Never to see you again and never to be aware of your existence. That period lasted a long time. Almost as long as the hatred I felt for you lasted. Then I saw Draco again. I got to know him, and it made me discover things I never would have suspected. He gave me back something to live for. He made me look beyond appearances. Beyond the war and all that it had done to us. Beyond the hero I was supposed to be, and the Death Eater he was. I learned to be tolerant. I understood so much. » He sighed, and smiled, thinking of everything that had happened in that moment. « Now, I won't say I don't want you in my life anymore. But I don't know if I want you back as a constant presence either. The choice is yours. Having you back in my life is something I want, honestly. But there are limits to what I can do. The things I choose to live to accept. You won't be as present, and you won't be the most important ones to me. It's up to you to see if you can and if you have the patience and the will to do all of that. But above all, you'll have to accept Draco, my life with him. The fact that I married him willingly and had a child with him... If you're not prepared to make that effort, I don't want to hear from you again. »

Harry became silent, and looked at everyone with defiant eyes. It was their choice. He wouldn't change anything in his life. But he was willing to give them another chance. A chance to get back to him. But nothing would ever be the same again.

« Harry, » said Hermione after a moment's silence, « I honestly don't know if I could accept your... Life choices. We've done so much together, so much for you. And you left without saying anything, then came back with a husband and a child. With someone who tried to kill us so many times, who we thought you hated. »

« He tried to survive, Hermione, just as much as we did. » Harry replied.

« You ask too much of us, Harry. » Added Molly.

« I'm not asking anything of you. I'm telling you to make a choice, which in itself is quite simple. Either you accept everything I've become, or you leave but don't expect to be welcome in my home. But as I see it, the decision is automatically made, and none of you are willing to make the effort to accept that I have grown up, that I have moved on. I think you'd better go back and learn that it's no longer all black and white. And that everyone's wrong. Learn to be adults, and learn to live in the real world and not a fantasy built on years of fear. Until then, you're not welcome in my home. »

He smiled a little smile at the twins, to make them understand that he had understood that they were with him, and that they had always been with him. He glanced blankly at the rest of the Weasleys, and left the room after kissing Draco. Draco then spoke.

« You've wanted to play with someone's life for too long, and even though I know you meant well, Harry needed to become independent and learn to be a full-fledged person. You, as someone who was supposed to be close to him, should have understood this and helped him, not forced him to become someone who wasn't him. I hope you're happy with the result. »

« Look who’re talking, » Ron spat out, « I'm glad you're glad it ended this way, and that he's staying with you, and just with you. Still so selfish, Malfoy. »

Draco looked at him with a sad little smile.

« The only thing I want is Harry's happiness, and if it's with you in his life, I'm willing to make all the effort in the world. ...even if it means being civil to you. »

Then he left. Leaving the Weasleys alone in the room. They left. With their mind turned, and not knowing if he'd ever see Harry again... They didn't want to make an effort for someone like Draco. And the only thing they understood that day was that Harry would make no more concessions...

_**Was it really the end of so many years together?** _


End file.
